This Is Why Younger-Older Is Better!
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Younger-Older relationships are very misunderstood, even by men who think that they prefer younger-older relationships. Younger-older is plagued also by the cultural heterosexual reproductive stereotypes that dictate that only young persons, heterosexual, and close in age should partner up. That's because the whole partnering thing was intended to promote procreation, not stable, growth relationships benefitting both the partners. Heterosexual procreative partnerships, unlike younger-older partnerships, had survival of the species in mind, not personal growth and sharing with procreation taking a back-seat to shared life and growth (procreation not being an option, particularly in the case of gay men).
The unfortunate fact that everyone has an opinion and judges according to what makes them feel most comfortable is aggravated by the inappropriate application of heterosexual conventions to gay male relationships. There's also a gender double-standard between women and men when it comes to younger-older dating and relationships; it's been acceptable for generations for younger women to date older men but for some reason our culture has been less kind to younger men dating or in relationships with older men. For women it's "sexy," for men, it seems, there has to be some exploitation going on. That's idiotic, unfair, and blatantly sexist!
We can all agree that the younger-older, the mister-daddy relationship can have a darker side, just as any relationship between two persons may have. I'm thinking here of the exploitive types of relationships where the younger man may exploit the older man. This is not unusual when the older man is unrealistic and perhaps lonely. Unrealistic because he fails to cope with the fact that he may have an image of himself that is discordant with reality: he has failed to take care of himself and may be barking up the wrong tree. Then there's the younger man who has ambitions and sees in the older man an opportunity to achieve social status or even financial advantage, a kind of vanilla prostitution. The reverse can also be true. There are the situations where the older man can attract a vulnerable younger man by promises of advancement, gifts, even a home, but is only exploiting the younger man for physical pleasure or for feeding his ego. All of these situations are possible and do happen, despite the fact that they are immoral, unfair, and degrading to both parties.
But the dark, ugly side is possible only when one or both of the partners are disordered, unaware, or just plain evil.
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SDB is one of the manifestations of the conflict. SDB is manifested physically in deterioration of one's health or even suicide. Mentally in becoming obsessive and compulsive thoughts or beliefs that manifest in SDB. Socially by interfering with normal personal and social interactions. Spiritually by altering one's perception of reality, appreciations of core values, altered self- awareness, deterioration of awareness, obstruction of awakening, altered perception of truth. SDB may be deliberate and intentional, uncontrolled or impulsive, or the SDB may develop over time as a habit or even as an identity. Yes, you can become your SDB.
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Most of the men I have met or who contact me have no idea who they are. The have one personality on the street, one on the job, one with their families, and yet another one in bed. And you thought it was hard to juggle multiple men in your life? Most of you are juggling multiple men in your heads!